Oh.No.She.Didn’t.

WARNING:  If you are an eternal optimist, don’t read this post.  If you are obsessed with Drew Barrymore, don’t read this post.  If you like Ellen Page, don’t read this post.  If you are excited to see Drew Barrymore’s new movie, Whip It, don’t read this post.  If you have or plan to have two-toned hair, like Ms. Barrymore, don’t read this post.

Okay.  I’ll admit it.  I’m in a bit of a mood today.  Those of you who know and love me dearly, might know what I am talking about.  Those of you who are just stumbling upon my website, brace yourself and know that it’s not like this most weeks…or months, really. 

Here’s what happened.  I finally got to my new Marie Claire magazine today; Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page gracing the cover, respectively, and while I am not a Ellen Page fan in the slightest, I actually have a soft spot for ole Drew.  I wasn’t even planning on posting a poll on Drew’s new two-tone hair, for all the obvious reasons, but after reading the Marie Claire article today about Drew and Ellen’s new movie, Whip It, frankly, I’m annoyed.

Drew’s been around since the 80′s, so we, the public, have seen a lot of sides to her:  E.T. Drew, Drew the Lush (among other things), Clean and Sober Drew, Charlie’s Angels Drew, Glamour Drew and lately we’ve seen Crazy Outfits Drew.  Whatever, she’s going through a phase; must be her channeling her zany roller derby side. 

Then came the two-toned hair.  Really?  I mean, what was the thought process in that?  I’m hoping this was a do-it-yourself dye job and there is no stylist to back up that look.  If I was her stylist, I would sneak into her home at night chop off the black ends and then smother her hair in deep conditioner.  But, that’s just me.  Hold on, I’m not done yet.

All this week, I’ve cringed while watching previews of Drew’s new movie, Whip It, pop up on my television, listening to the announcer praise her as a director.  Uh-huh.  Then comes Ellen Page, all too skinny, rolling around on her roller skates mouthing off with that (not-so) clever sharp tongue of hers with Drew Barrymore hooting and hollering in the background with green and pink highlights with a helmet on her head.   I’m not going to lie, I’ll probably see the movie when it comes out on DVD, but I’m not gonna like it.  Then, of course, there was the two-tone hair incident, and I was going to let it slide…but, what really pushed me over the edge, what really chapped me was Drew and Ellen’s interview in Marie Claire.  Not only are they new ”besties”, but there is a picture of them kissing; supposedly they didn’t realize the photographer was watching them.  Riiiiiggght.  But, apparently they hold hands all the time, they giggle, they like to sit so close together that their thighs touch.  Then of course, you got the routine, “you’re so amazing”, “noooo you’re soooo amazing”.  Then there were the f-bombs for no apparent reason.  They even managed to quote my favorite band, Kings of Leon (not cool), something about it making you emotional.  Then they talked about how sexy each of them were.  Next came more ego stroking.  And they ended the interview by coming up with three words to describe the other person.  Barf.

After reading about all their insightfulness I couldn’t decide if I needed to throw up or re-read the article.  I decided on this instead.

So!  Since Drew is so in touch with who she is as a person, actor, friend and ah-hem, director, I’m going to let her voice her very own poll about her hair. 

See below, that’s Drew voicing her poll. 

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